Loving this "Mommy" Thing

Lately, it seems like everyone has been asking how I am doing or how I like being a mommy.

I am so thankful for having so many loving people surrounding me who care enough to check on me. The truth is, becoming a mom was the most wonderful yet the most difficult experience of my life. Anyone who knows me, knows I am selfish by nature so being 100% responsible for another human beings' happiness was quite an adjustment for me. Mentally I really struggled all throughout my pregnancy with the way my body was changing and once Riley was here I experienced alot of resentment early on towards my husband for still getting to look freakishly hot and workout all of the time and for not having to be glued to a baby 24/7. I know most of you reading this are probably like "whoaaaa she just said that" but I am not ashamed of how I felt because tons of new moms struggle with those things; they just wont admit it. I don't think my difficulty adjusting to motherhood is anything to be ashamed of. It was a struggle I overcame so I am proud of it.

I started back at work 3 weeks after having Riley; I am just not cut out for the stay at home mom thing. Fortunately, I am able to bring Riley to work with me every day so before anyone goes postal on me for going back to work so soon..its not like I missed out on any time with her. Working full time with a newborn was kind of tough especially since I was exclusively pumping breast milk due to Rileys inability to latch. It sounded like and ice cream machine was running in my office at all times haha.

Getting back in the routine of working out was tough. With a little girl who refused to sleep, a husband training for a fitness competition, a house that needed cleaning and working all day finding time to workout was difficult but at 4 weeks post partum I started walking on the treadmill for 30min-1hr every day and slowly added more weekly.

As many of you know, I am SUPER high maintenance so not having the energy or the drive to get fixed up every day was so hard for me. Between my crazy hair, red face, the newly developed bags under my eyes and my post baby body I felt terrible about myself.

It has been 3 months since I became a mom & I am proud to say I have finally gotten the hang of the daily routine. Riley is still not sleeping much so getting out of bed at 4:30am to go to the gym is difficult but I know it will pay off in the end. I am still in the process of getting my body back but getting an hour to myself at the gym to work on myself ha honestly been the best thing for me mentally. My confidence is back and it is nice to have an hour that is just dedicated to me and not to doing things for others. You can follow my fitness journey on this blog as well.
Working full time is not getting any easier. As Riley gets older, she is awake more often and demands way more attention. I am so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends at work who spoil her just as much as I do and are happy to hold her and pay her the attention she needs when I need to finish up with a task.
Getting ready every day is so much easier now that Riley has discovered Sponge Bob haha. I prop her up in the morning when her daddy leaves for work and she watches it while I shower and do my hair/makeup. If she has a morning where she is a little more needy I try and come into work earlier and finish getting ready in my office.
All in all I would say that I am absolutely loving this motherhood thing and again, I am so thankful for all those of you who have been checking up on me.

xoxo

"Too Posh To Push" My Elective Cesarean

Yes, you read that correctly, I chose to have a C-Section.

I had no idea when my husband and I decided to have an elective cesarean how much opposition I would face or how many judgmental people I would encounter. I honestly cannot count the number of times I was asked why or told I should only use the cesarean as my last choice and should try a natural delivery first. Everyone assumed that I simply didn't want to endure hours of labor and everything that comes with it. Well, that's partially true but there are so many more factors that went into my decision.

 

- My mother had all 3 of her children via C-section. She had tried to have me naturally but I was not cooperative so she ended up in the O.R. having a C-section and then when my sister and brother came along she did the same thing. When I was growing up I knew we had all come out of the scar on my moms tummy so for most of my youth I didn't even know a vaginal delivery existed and when I found out I sure never thought I would do it any way other than the way my mom had done it.

 

-My husband was against a vaginal delivery from the get go. All of the men at the gym had him freaked out about how "terrible it is" saying their wives "screamed for hours" and it was "disgusting" and that they "never felt the same" after wards. So, after about two months of being royally freaked out in the locker room my husband asked me what I thought about having a C-section.

 

-My sister was born with Spina Bifida and I remember my dad telling me that originally the doctors told them she would never walk but years later when she was walking on her own the doctor said that had she gone through the birth canal there would have been no way she would have walked and that the C-section actually helped her. Call me crazy, but one of my main concerns was that if something were wrong with Riley I wanted her literally in the hands of a doctor as soon as possible without her health hinging on my ability to push her out fast enough.

 

-I tend to be a bit of a control freak. I like to have a plan at all times. Electing to have a cesarean allowed me to spend the end of my pregnancy not stressing out about weather I would be carrying this baby for weeks past my due date and it allowed me to have a deadline to get things ready for her to come.

 

Those are the initial reasons that lead me to my decision. I am not in anyway promoting one method of delivery over another but, for me, the C-section was the best option. I loved being able to tell my family ahead of time what time to be at the hospital and allow them to make arrangements at work or in their daily schedules. My husband did not have to sit by my side helpless, watching me go through pain and only be able to tell me it would be okay when he really had no idea. I never had to go through the uncomfortable checking for dilation at doctors visits. We literally welcomed Riley into the world 4 minutes after my husband sat down next to me.

 

When I would tell someone that I was having a cesarean, they almost always made this face like it was the most horrible thing they could ever imagine. They always said things like "that's major surgery," "it takes so long to heal," "it will destroy your body,"...blah blah blah. The truth is, yes, it is major surgery, I was up walking the next morning feeling just a little sore but fine. Four weeks out I had to force myself not to start working out hard because I felt amazing and most of all....my body is no worse than it was before I lost weight the first time. My scar is about 4 inches long, so low nobody but my husband will ever see it, I do not have any more of a "pouch" than I did when I was fat years ago. I can use my lower abdominal muscles just fine and I have no numbness.

The point of this post is not to shine a positive light on C-sections as much as it is to show that everyone's circumstances are different and what is best for one isn't always best for everyone else. I would never change my decision to have a cesarean, I have no regrets and I feel that women should be supported no matter what they chose as their method of delivery.

Maternity Pictures

I was thrilled with the way my maternity pictures turned out! I love these pictures of us.